The Tandem Curmudgeon Gets Ready For The Valentine’s Day Tandem Blitz

Yes, it’s time for the happy-news reporters and columnists to pull out those ubiquitous lists of suggestions for how couples can show their love for each other to include “Ride a Tandem”! Never mind that February 14th falls in the middle of winter or that finding anything other than a 60lb tandem-shaped objective to rent is nearly impossible even in those places where it’s not below 40°, raining or snowing on February 14th each year. Ah yes, and if a couple did happen to find themselves in a warm sunny place with dry roads and a tandem at their disposal how long would it be before a self-appointed safety-expert told them that they’d need helmets to be safe on that thing because, after all, cycling can be dangerous… and they’d need to find a bicycle path because they certainly shouldn’t ride on public streets; not only is it unsafe for the cyclists, it’s irritating to the motorists. Well, and if that weren’t bad enough, didn’t you know that bicycle seats can impair you ability to have sex! Heck, even that cycling racer Lance Armstrong developed testicular cancer and has called these things ‘Divorce Machines’! Why on Earth would you want to put your gonads or relationship at risk like that on Valentine’s Day! So, by all means, just get some chocolates for your lover, go out to eat and then settle in for a nice movie or perhaps an Episode of the Biggest Loser: yeah, that’ll stir the love juices.

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About TG

I've been around a bit and done a few things, have a couple kids and a few grandkids. I tend to be curmudgeonly, matter-of-fact and not predisposed to self-serving chit-chat. Thankfully, my wife's as nice as can be otherwise we'd have no friends. My interests are somewhat eclectic, but whose aren't?
This entry was posted in Editorials & Rants, Whimsical Or Entertaining. Bookmark the permalink.

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